Relationship Advice

title. how do i know if someone i dated actually wants to be my friend or if i’m just being used?? he doesn’t like me at all nor want me but he wants to talk to me so i can comfort him 24/7 because he’s always miserable. he never does stuff for me but he would always get really happy when i did stuff for him.

So, our sister (14F) has a school counselor, I believe, in her school. She is going to see her again this year. (We use we because we're plural).

It makes me (18m) really sad when my bf (24m) is depressed. Sometimes he runs hot and cold and says he doesn't know if we should break up or not but then he says it feels right to be with me and he wants to stay.

I hate this. So I (18FtM) have a BF (24M) and he has been showing me less affection and not really taking an interest in my things or what I want to do. He doesn't really like my interests but it's okay, we've been getting along. Sometimes, he doesn't even know if he wants to be with me, but it's okay.

My girlfriend says she doesn't like that I don't work and don't do anything to "develop myself". I have passive income that's more than enough for us to live rather comfortably in the city I live in. I pretty much support her at the moment, as well as myself, but she says she doesn't want to get a job because I don't have one, and that annoys her that I'll be able to sit at home and do what I want or just be busy with my hobbies.

Hey all, hope everyone is doing well.

I made a throwaway so as not to clutter my main. I'm a bit sad but he doesn't want me to feel bad. He keeps me so he's not lonely, but he doesn't know whether or not he wants to break up and just strings me along, I guess. "I love you" one minute, "let's break up" the next. My mom says I'm being played, IDK.

my bf insinuates we break up or saying he can't show affection for me, bringing up breakups, etc. he also seems kinda out of it a lot.

My mom glorifies herself. When parents plan for children, it is the parents' job to provide for the children. They shouldn't see children as retirement plan.

I'm fully aware that only I myself can decide whether or not I'm bi, and I know I probably will eventually, but I recently broke up with my girlfriend because I realized her gender wasn't that attractive to me, and I wanted a boyfriend. Not a girlfriend. Men, I definitely prefer, and they're more attractive to me.

I'm not really into trans people, so I only date cis men. Not trans men, not nonbinary people, and not women of any kind. However, my former boyfriend is now my girlfriend, and IDK how to tell her I don't like women without her taking it the wrong way.

i've posted here before. i'm in an mlm relationship with my boyfriend of only 3 months. he struggles with depression and is probably addicted to video games as his coping mechanism. he said he didn't know if he still loved me last night and that he didn't know if we should even be dating because people would see him as a bad bf.

he says he wants to stay but then he said he doesn’t know if he has feelings for me and if we should date, then he says he really likes me and wants to date, and when i asked him for clarification he just told me he wants to sleep.

My friend who I post about, the problem is that she wants to be this great person who everyone worships and wants to be a symbol of the world and her country, etc. She always talks about it and when I tell her that I'm a normal person who's never achieved that either, she goes on about how her friends are all famous and she's not and how she wants to be worshipped but doesn't think she can achieve it and doesn't do anything to achieve it.

My fiancé is convinced that his friend absolutely despises him and doesn’t care and my sister is convinced our grandmother doesn’t care about her. I don’t know what to do because they both are insistent this person absolutely hates them and won’t listen to their side, especially my sister. My sister gets verbally violent and angry, and threatens me because she doesn’t wanna hear the other side.

i posted this to get any advice i can get. he and i (both men) have only been together for 3 months but i really love him and want to support him. he's had a hard life and struggles with mental health and always feeling empty or depressed. sometimes, i watch his streams and ask about the game he's playing, and i don't even mind that he plays video games to cope or plays them at all, but he barely talks to me. we are long-distance, too, so i can't go visit him in-person. he doesn't really have time to talk due to playing his game and doesn't wanna stop and be affectionate or talk or anything when he's busy with the game. he does it constantly to the point where literally all he does is game and we barely talk from it, idk what to do.

I am 27 years old and I am a single mother of a 12 year old son (Yes I had him at 15). I have been single for a few years now ever since I left my son’s biological father who used to abuse me physically/sexually. He developed alcohol problems later in our relationship and he could barely keep a job, and he ended up developing extreme anger issues as a result. His abuse was mostly behind closed doors and never in front of my son. A few years later now, he calls me from another number explaining how he finished rehab, meets with a therapist weekly, and meditates every morning. He apologized a ton and he only asked to meet with my son and I in a casual environment to check up on us. (He explicitly said he doesn’t expect me to forgive him). I have not and will never forgive him, nor will I ever re-enter a relationship with him, but he does sound like a different person, so should I meet with him?

So my (24F) friend Jaiden (24F) has come from, according to her, an abusive family in Asia. We are online friends but don't know each other in real life. She wants to be the greatest person alive and constantly talks about how she wants to be this very great, multitalented person who's an actress, model, fantastic artist, etc. and how she wants to be famous but then talks about how she's horrible and will never be this all the time and IDK how to help anymore. I listen but she always asks me if I think she can be this person.

Been struggling alot recently. . Trying to get over someone special and friends tell me "she's just another girl". I get they mean well, but sometimes she isn't just another girl. How do you convince yourself it isn't the end?

my bf of almost three months (we've been friends for about a year or two) is always feeling stressed, depressed, or empty. i want to help him, so im just there with him and remind him that i'm there even when he doesn't feel like talking or we don't have much to say.

I once posted in this community about an incident with the HVAC repair guy that nearly upended our relationship. (TW b/c there is a description of self harm) We stuck it out since then. Went to couples therapy, etc. It helped for a while, but at some point it ran its course.

I'm currently dating a woman long-distance. She lives in Poland. I thought I liked her romantically, but I think I just liked having a friend who cares about me. I view her as more like a sister and at this point, she's part of our family. However, I don't think I like women or at least definitely prefer men, and I want a man to go out with. How do I politely break up with her after all this? Is it worth it?

I'm (18F) personally not sad that my S/O (17M) wants to focus more on his studies. In fact, I'm happy for him and want to encourage him. Plus, I will focus on my studies, friends, loved ones, hobbies, etc.

I(mid 30s dude) am seeing this lady(mid 30s lady), we have different political opinions and talk pretty openly about it. It's interesting, she voted for Trump, was homeschooled/raised christian, very nationalistic and buys his crypto alongside some other crypto, I bought the Communist manifesto while hanging out with her and express all of my opinions boldly. No issues so far, literally.

Update, my bf (21m) i (22m) talked to, and he just said “i dunno 🤷‍♂️” the whole time i spoke to him about our interests and such. and i told him i didn’t feel heard (he said ok) and “i dunno” every time i said anything he just said “i dunno”. and then i asked if he liked my interests and he didn’t know.

my bf alex (21m) always expects me (22m) to watch his movies, and his videos. and i do, and i watch all the tiktoks and instagram reels he sends me. but when i send him something, he doesn’t look at it and says “he’ll do it later” but doesn’t.

So, this is a very complicated story and actually I feel like I'd have to write a book to explain it all. I'll keep it short and leave out a ton. I was severely bullied in school since grade one due to a skin condition. It doesn't matter which, it was very visible, all over my body. Teachers did nothing. It was the nineties in a small little village in the middle of nowhere. In third grade one teacher ask me why I don't take medicine or cover up with make-up so I wouldn't get bullied. My parents didn't do anything either, not even take me to a doctor.

i have nothing to worry about now, but i am curious for the future. i (american, 19m) plan to move to europe, possibly to spain and visiting countries like portugal, france, and italy.

So I discovered the hard and painful way that my 5 year friendship with my autistic friend (same age/gender), as a autistic person, isn't quite at the point yet where sleepovers make sense. However me and my friend live 2 hours apart on exact opposite ends of the same city. So I'm not exactly sure what our options are for hanging out in person; considering we live quite far from each other, but sleepovers are impractical and don't make sense yet.

I (18F) have a sister (14F) who I love a lot, but I don’t know how to help her. She thinks I’m always mad at her or that I hate her.

yes, the title is correct and not bait 👍

I have a friend (18M) who always tells me when someone is being rude. Specifically it was one dude in senior year. I have since graduated. I am no longer in high school.

Hey folks, hope all are well!! Need some outside perspective on a situation. Your thoughts are appreciated.

my (22nb, 22ftm[?]) friend mark (20m) lived in poland since he was 4. he speaks russian, polish, and english.

I'm often left feeling stressed, frustrated, and exhausted by my partner.

I’m aware that this is probably a thing many people struggle with, their loved ones in the military. I’m one of them.

I posted about my friend once, Jaiden. Just for background or recap, I encountered Jaiden on a post about abusive parents. We chatted in the DMs of Reddit and became friends on Discord.

She’s AMAB and possibly transfem(??)

first off, we’re both men. i’m 19, he’s 18 (carl). carl used to be very energetic, sweet, affectionate, and happy.

This lady tried to beat me up for being disabled. She gets mad, threatens me, stalks my account, and won’t stop talking abt me and how much I suck and deserve bad things.

This one lady is considered very kind. She is to most people, that’s why they consider her this way. The lady’s friend says they’re the problem if the lady is mean to them.

Like the age requirement for most Lemmy instances (except for a few which I believe are 13+ or no age due to not being NSFW), I’m 24F. I’m married and live with my wife at her house.

I asked what we meant and she replied with: “no wonder you don’t know”

This woman I know is friends with some of my friends. However, she is almost always passive aggressive and rude, though sometimes she’ll be polite or ask things about me to get to know me.

30 year old male, divorced last year after 9 years. Got dumped because I drink too much apparently. She was supposed to move back to her home country but ended up staying in this city.

Warning: This was a rant and I have NOT proof-read it, so please ignore any poor writing, lol.

For some background, one of my other friends, I’ll call her Penny (19F) was dealing with her dad with NPD. I looked for some advice on a subreddit called r/raisedbynarcissists. That’s when I believe what happened is that I asked something about narcissistic parents, and Jaiden (24F) shared her story in the comments. I felt really bad for her and decided to help her out and talk to her.

Today, I was talking to this girl N (who even punched me once!) and she constantly complained about having no friends.

at around 16ftm, i had a group of online friends i interacted with. i also showed a lot of signs of bipolar and still do.

I had some relationships before, but one of them (10 Years from now) hit me so hard, that i struggle with it for today on. My Ex Cheated on me with several other guys on a schooltrip. We were in an monogam relationship that time so... Needless to say that I ended it after that trip.

be it romantic, friendly, or even sexual harassment, my abuser said i wasn’t even good enough to be sexually harassed.

if i have any sort of interest in anything, be it a tv show, motivation for a project, a collection, etc. even if i only mention it once, i’m suddenly obsessed.

And now he thinks I’m an a-hole for questioning his decision. He has a YouTube page with about 600 subscribers (more on Insta), it’s a niche topic that he could honestly probably broaden and monetize if he wanted to and had the time. There’s a lot of friendly exchange of swag and small products in the genre and quick reels and reviews that follow. But recently a company asked him to do a review of their approximately $300 product and they would send it to him free and he could keep it. Okay cool, he’s small time and wants more subs so why not. Turns out they sent him a contract to sign that specified it be a 10 minute video, specifies how it needs to be shot, what needs to be included, he can’t discuss it with other ppl, etc. They’re not paying him anything, he didn’t ask for the product, and he’s agreeing to be contractually obligated to whatever terms are in this contract for a product he didn’t even ask for. Mind you he is a professional videographer and editor by trade, a 10 minute video from his skill set, experience, and location should cost $1000s. I’m not begrudging him for doing it for free, it’s the signing of a contract this really throwing me off. Now he thinks I’m calling him stupid (I didn’t) and is insanely pissed at me for not agreeing with his decision and for wanting him to advocate for himself. I’m in real estate and deal with contracts all day long and he took my aversion to him signing something under these circumstances as an insult on his intelligence. I lost certainly didn’t mean that.

my friends are mostly nice people, although obviously negative without many friends. they constantly have to bring up me having autism or being the r-slur when something comes up.

This is messy, contradicting, and wrong.

My grandpa doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to get up in the morning, to not hyperfixate, to not be emotionally unstable.

My dad literally hits me and punishes me by starving me. However, my friend says he’s “just trying to shape me into the perfect young man” and that he “truly loves me”. This almost makes me think she’s either my dad in secret or dating my dad.

I hope you do love reading. I'm a 19 years old male who lives in Türkiye which you might now as Turkey. For my entire life, I went through one platonic love and one failed relationship in high school. Outside of that, I never had anything serious. I spent most of my time working on my ideal project in isolation. It's been some serious time since I communicated anybody outside of my family. Really, outside of three or four family members, I don't remember having any friends for a few years. There is one year of high school where things changed a bit, but it didn't stayed so long. Shortly, I've been in isolation for total of 6 to 7 years if you contain two pieces, but last one kept going on fore more than 3 years. I have no literal experience in human communication or relationships. All I know by the experiences and learning my own thoughts, I'm very loyal and deeply connected to the people around me. This might be happening because of low count of people, but this has been a thing since childhood. I can say I'd be very loyal and love filled towards my partner, trying to support them through things. The problem is, I have many negative traits.

A friend approached me confidently about realtionship advice and its a tough thing to address. What better place than to ask Lemmy given the broad scope of culture and more genuine reactions here. We figure what can it hurt.

Gggg

First off, didn't know if I should post this here, or over on the mental health board. Being focused on the interpersonal, though, I'll slap it here. Please lemme know if I should take it outside.

My boyfriend (m) and i (f) have been together of just about two years and we are going through a rough patch lately. We’ve been fighting a lot, and talking about going to couples counseling. It’s been exhausting, and unfortunately, i noticed he lets it affect special occasions too.

I want some unbiased opinions so I will try to write this from a third person perspective.

Maybe it’s because a lot of them are girls, but they’re like this with guys too. They are very touchy with each other, but it seems awkward if it’s with me.

seeking advice

I (40M) love my wife (35F) very much. She makes me smile every day. Even days when I've been mad at her, she still made me smile at some point.

My friend Amelia has been pretty irritable lately. According to Ana, Amelia is obsessed with her.

My BF Jay (15M) and I (15F) have been dating for about a year now. Now, we are obviously young, so I’ll probably need different advice than an adult woman.

Firstly, no idea about the origin of this phrase, but it seems like a poorly constructed idea that is broad enough to generate discussions on any point of view that you want.

Here's the story: I (24 F) was in a non-committal fwb "relationship", I guess you can call it, with this guy (23 M) where we were seeing each other multiple times a week and hanging out, going on dates, sleeping together all summer, but never really discussed what it was. Which is fine. I wasn't really that crazy about him tbh, he was kind of disrespectful of my political views (I'm a leftist, he's a hyper lib and "immune to propaganda cause we have freedom of the press"... lol), he was also pretty bad at sex, but I don't really know what I want anyways and I'm just happy to have someone's company for the time being. We met in July and he broke things off in October.

For context, we're both past the 30-year mark, with myself in my mids and him pushing 40. We've known each other from Uni, have been best friends since, and the entire thing pretty much turned into a siblinghood, with his family sort of "adopting" me (I'm perpetually invited to all of their family events and gatherings, his parents love having me around, etc.) We've been there for eachother through some of our worst times, and we got along really well.

I've been to a couple of discos and by the end there's always a couple of people at the side making out. I'm also in the mood to do this but currently I'd feel bad touching someone without talking to them for a while first. These people clearly don't though because there's loud music and I've never understood then how they agree on getting physically close. Did they know each other beforehand?